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These Final Hours Embrace At Last

by Indigo Autumn

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1.
joint call 02:00
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consumption and creation, contorting in an apathetic state i've tried to recreate the past through kintsugi but the mind refrained consumption and creation "oh, please validate me!" if hell is other people i am trapped within this mirror maze
2.
needs + wants // intro to ACT 02:52
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i've spent so long thinking about the things that are outside of my grasp but this supposed sustainability was never built to fucking last i want to not panic any more but now i'm not so sure i'll ever make it out of this i've just got to make it out of this i've just got to make it out of this i'll build myself again build myself again i'll build my self before i lose it again build myself again i'll build myself again i'll build my self before i lose it again
3.
out of the woods 04:19
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we live in retrograde as these arteries will course through our mistakes though i fear these feelings will fade away it might be the best before we break and i am running from these rivers that run through my veins so tell me are we out of the woods? melodrama, i can't keep finding commas just to separate all this trauma these empty spaces between my fingers growing numb as this omnipresent sense of senseless dread seeps in through every facet of my fucking head setting fire to all these strands of nitrate thread yet i keep running from these rivers that run through my veins so tell me are we out of the woods?
4.
rib rhythms 02:44
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crack my ribs open petrify me you know i'm not the only one to sing break this faucet down for the ink daubed soul there are no more shallow platitudes left here to console what does it mean to be different? is it a facade i'm living in? or maybe i'm just trying to pretend that i'm okay ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| what does it mean to be different? is it a facade i'm living in? or maybe i'm just trying to pretend
5.
lethargy, the lobby 04:05
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contorting through the fabric of these bones limbs, they move at intervals compelling yet entangling worlds, they close waiting for a chance to unfold but that's not the way we do things around here but that's not the way we do things around here scaling these ladders consistently yet i keep falling down maybe throwing myself off is antithetical to being found unwound distorting the reflections of myself and justifying self destruction displaying a lack of improvement yet clinging to the chance it may come but that's not the way we do things around here but that's not the way we do things around here that's not the way we do things around here but that's not the way we do things around here spanish moss, the rusted hand of decades ocascades down. outstretched, they lace themselves through my ribcage. soon enough, i'll find new ways to swim within them. {i don't know, have you thought about using a different key or something?} [FUCK!] that's not the way we do things around here that's not the way we do things around here that's not the way we do things around here that's not the way we do things around here
6.
room 213 interlude 00:34
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i've just got to make it out of this (more like fuckinnnnnnn GAy Best)
7.
pink moscato 03:31
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8.
spirals + spirals 02:33
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i’ll spiral spiral spiral spiral spiral on through as i think i think i think i think i’m thinking of you as these hopeless nights led to hopeless thoughts with my splitting sides leaving me distraught i’ll laugh i’ll laugh i’ll laugh i’ll laugh i’ll laugh it off and truth be told - i built these circles and truth be told - i want to break free i’ve tied i’ve tied i’ve tied i’ve tied up these ropes as i’ve let i’ve let i’ve let i’ve let i’ve let them choke carving words from out my splitting tongue recontextualizing every rotten rung i’ll write i’ll drink i’ll fuck i’ll sleep i’ll laugh it off but truth be told - i built these circles and truth be told - i want to break free maybe in time we can baby in time we can maybe in time we can baby in time we can
9.
forest for the trees 03:22
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10.
indigo autumn - “creme of october” by Ivy Jones 03:11
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11.
the fall (feat. hell demon) 04:04
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“…and i ran and ran and ran chasing dreams chasing a future behind me chasing…” and though i’ve ran from this liminal space i’ll find solace while you’re looking for grace oh, they don’t know what they see in my hair but there are changes in the air i’m running fault lines in the mirror as i’m tracing my face, and coming to terms with what i cannot replace oh you’ll never know what i’ve done to my hair but there are changes in the air i’m prepared for the fall again preemptively catching my breath instead of facing all that’s lost i’ll focus on what is left and sometimes i can still feel it right on the edge of my breath instead of facing all that’s lost i’ll focus on what is left i’ll rebuild myself again rebuild myself again rebuild my self before i lose it again build myself again i’ll rebuild myself again i’ll rebuild my self before i lose it again rebuild myself before i lose it again rebuild myself before i lose it again

about

i wasn't able to recognize the sound of my front axle shattering until the road curved. over the weeks prior i had found myself in a state of perpetual rearrangement, trying to compact and restore what i could whilst simultaneously confronting all of that i had to leave behind. i'd never changed the color of my hair before, yet it was freeing and chaotic and my head was on fire. they had to postpone the funeral a few hours until i could make it back to the church i needed to run from. the shock of the catastrophic failure was still weighing on me in the congregation, and the piano i had played in a previous life held no comfort afterward. i left a quarter for Charon at her grave and walked away. isolation endured; this lack of control led me to run away to a hotel room i would fill with cheap wine and music, songs of which would grow and progress into what this album has become.
so in a transitional space that had no discernible exit i found my way through, and here i am now.
with aureate leaves and delicate skies
only obfuscated by black butterflies
branches will etch out and analyze
this pattern of deflection i’ve romanticized
“sometimes i feel as though i’m still in love”
thank you,
Grey 🖤

credits

released October 31, 2021

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Indigo Autumn Atlanta, Georgia

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